SOMEBODY 2 LOVE EXCERPT
After the party, I went home and sat in my apartment, staring out the window, watching the storm move in and the trees blowing in the wind. Rhys confused me. When I’d arrived, I’d been determined to convince him leaving was his best option. I wanted him to pack up and move out, yet in a twist of fate, I barged in on him and attempted to convince him to stay.
I didn’t know what it was that made me change my mind, but my instincts were screaming at me that deep inside, Rhys was a good guy who had shit luck. But it wasn’t only that, there was something else. Something he held back. Something he didn’t share with others. I didn’t have proof and didn’t know him at all. I was only listening to my gut.
No, it was more than that. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Everything about him filled my thoughts. World-weary and heartbroken at his age, he hadn’t let it completely defeat him. Yes, he was knocked down, but he wasn’t done. If he were, he wouldn’t have tried to tear into me. He was still present, and that said a lot about him.
After I’d dropped the tray of food off, Baker and I joined everyone else in the backyard or kitchen, laughing, playing games, and having fun. I didn’t see Rhys again at all. Baker snuck off while I was playing horseshoes with Finn, and he and Rhys left the party. It shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. I should forget about Rhys, but I couldn’t.
It was his eyes. His damn green eyes. There was a saying that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and in his case, I agreed with that wholeheartedly. They showed everything, but there was even more hidden in their depths, pulling me in. What was it about him? Unlike Baker, he didn’t remind me of a sibling, didn’t remind me of a fuck up I wanted to save. But I recognized that glint in his eyes. I’d felt it once upon a time, too. That overwhelming belief that everything was good and right in the world, that you could make a difference, and then life shit on your parade.
I’d never lost someone I thought I loved, or maybe I had. There were a couple of guys I had dated, I could have sworn I’d loved at the time, only for us to separate and go our separate ways. Every time it happened, I realized quickly that I never loved them because they were so easy to let go of. No, for me, it was war. You would get close to someone, knowing we were all putting our lives at risk out there, and they would show up on your table. You couldn’t save them all. I couldn’t save them all. There were many nights I dreamt about them, and more times than not, I woke myself, gulping in air as I tried to erase the vision of me drowning in a sea of red.
Baker always wondered how I could still work as a doctor at all, and I’d asked myself that question several times. The only answer I could come up with was it was my calling. I couldn’t explain it, but being a doctor, saving people, helping them to overcome whatever was ailing them was part of me. When I tried to leave it, it sat inside me, urging me on, begging me to return, but the red and the screams haunted me too much to do it more than part-time.
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